Just For Laughs

The Hockey News website featured some off-the-wall predictions from various sports writers, including Columbus Dispatch's Aaron Portzline. Some of them are predictable: Stabs at the KHL, Mats Sundin, Toronto & the Tampa Bay, but some are actually quite good.

Aaron Portzline's prediction:

KHL czar Alexander Medvedev gets fed up and decides to buy the NHL for $2 trillion. No more quibbling over players. No more dealing with the IIHF. Say hello to the Kolomna Blue Jackets!

My favorite:

Dallas Stars co-GM Brett Hull will pass on a chance to trade for Jeremy Roenick saying Roenick talks too much.

Other good ones:

Mats Sundin signs with the Red Wings for $500,000 and becomes a fourth-line center in an incredibly stacked lineup.

In a particularly intense late-season game between Dallas and San Jose, Sean Avery climbs into the stands at the Shark Tank, grabs the purse of a woman heckler and hits her over the head with it.

Winter Classic at Wrigley Field. Marian Hossa shot flying toward unattended Blackhawks net. Out of nowhere, skating wildly, wearing baseball glove, Steve Bartman to the rescue.

Vancouver GM Mike Gillis trades the Sedin twins for the Olsen twins. The Canucks lose much-needed scoring, but attendance at their games goes through the roof.